Oh, my friends.  I'm so discouraged today.  I feel like everything is taking forever, nothing is going right, and I'm not sure what my goal is in the first place.  It's hard to keep one's eye on the prize when there isn't a clear prize in mind.  And the price of the prize is so high- right now my family is out playing in the new snow, while I'm at home pounding away at the keyboard trying to find something suitable for presentation.  Trying to make old software do new tricks, trying to feel like I've actually made some progress on something even though I just haven't done nearly what I thought I could do this month. 

I miss you, my friends.  I miss reading your blogs, miss your comments, miss writing to you and having the satisfaction of completion, the satisfaction of having written something that was actually coherent and heart-felt. 

I thought if I wrote about it here, I would get fired up enough to do the next step, but I'm just not.  I'm just, .... broke.  Not quite broken, but definitely broke.

Comments

[Heather]

maybe a most necessary 20-30 minute break in the snow? I read the tip somewhere, that the person would take 10 minutes at the top of the hour (50-60) every hour to do nothing, to check emails, to forward jokes, to get a coffee, to do nothing.

You have been working so hard and the work you are doing is necessarily not glamorous, but nonetheless more important than anything I've read about of late.

I'm sorry it feels like (and is) such drudgery.

[Emma]

Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I think we've all felt this "brokeness." This, too, shall pass. I'm glad you posted about it. Miss you. xo

[Nancy]

I'm sorry you're in a rough patch, whylime. Sending you hugs and encouragement!

[Meri]

mwah!

[quickening]

Coming late to this having looked for you on our old internet haunt (I'm quickening - we were pregnant together back in '07). Anyway, I hope you're feeling better than you were when you wrote this. It's hard, hard work and you're a pretty damn cool woman to be taking it all on. We miss you on ADL!

Fine if you don't post this - just keep remembering your very wise and balanced and funny posts and wondering how you and your beautiful family are doing.