I have two boys. I have a biscuit and an olive. I have a curious nature. I have a pain in my neck. I have a lot of things to work out. I have little tolerance for bad drivers. I have a PhD in nursing. I have a lot of musical instruments in my closet. I have a need to put things in order.
And the drum roll please.... this morning's weight loss is..... 1.2 total pounds since I started. This is actually up from my weight last week, something I attribute to the combination of travel, understanding of what foods are available, bloating, and the massive number of tortilla chips I ate last night. I definitely feel better than I did on January 6th, so I think I'm going to be okay. I wanted to have lost a lot more weight by today, but I feel more fit than I did, so I think my body is just going through a re-org and we'll just have to be happy with the fact that I'm not bigger than I was when I started.
but I am still disappointed.
Up early today to go to work- I got here at 7:00, there were about 5 cars in the parking lot when I arrived, and the front door to the building was locked. Good thing i had my key. It's a holiday on campus, so I'm locked in my office since there is nobody else here. I have a few things to get done, then I'm leaving for doctor's appointments and the like before I go home early to spend the rest of the day with the kids.
I don't have a lot to say this morning. Hopefully this will be a great week full of culinary excitement and feeling good.
I just finished making vegan chocolate peanut butter cups. Holy cow, I had to really hold myself back so I didn't eat every last one before they were done. Amazing. I can't wait to pull these out for desert- they're going to blow the kids' minds.
I have my official weigh- in tomorrow. When I started I was 159.2, and my Wii fit age was 34. I'm really 36, so the wii fit age was pleasing. But my BMI was above 25, which was not pleasing. Today I spent some quality time with the wii and now my wii fit age is 30. And my BMI is below 25, which is very, very, very pleasing. Tomorrow we'll get the weigh in and see if all those chocolate peanut butter cups have undone the hard work. In the past week I've been able to go running 3 times, and I've spent every night playing wii, which has to account for something. At least my arms are sore from that something.
We're having leftovers for dinner. Leftover tempeh from last night. I swore I'd never eat tempeh- the few times I've had it were definitely memorable in their horribleness. But everyone keeps raving about tempeh, so I knew I had to branch out and try something new. It's hard to get excited about a new recipe when the main ingredient is something that makes you a little nervous. So with great trepidation I sat down to dinner last night: creole braised tempeh over rice (From the Conscious Cook). Much to my surprise, it was really good. really salty, but also really good. The biggest problem was that it was too spicy. But it was really good. I had leftovers today and I actually enjoyed them. Oh, what a huge sigh of relief. I was worried that my soy products were limited to pre-fab or seitan, and I don't particularly care for either, when it all comes down to it. I think I would get tired of those really quick, that's all I'm saying. But having tempeh on the menu opens up the options quite a bit.
I just tried some of the Weight Loss Tea in the Kind Diet book. Wow. I think it's called weight loss tea because you have to grate the roots within an inch of their lives (workout) and then when you drink it, it turns you off all food forever. It's a combination of umeboshi plum (tart and salty? wow.), daikon radish, carrot, and soy sauce. I made it through the tea part, but when time came to eat the grated carrot, plum, and radish, I just had to pass.
I made a grand pilgrimage to whole paycheck today. Dang. Part of this whole experiment is based on my goal of living a kinder, gentler life. Who knew a kinder gentler life would be so expensive?
But the good news is after a week of this, I'm starting to get a feel for things. My shopping trip today was pretty disorganized, but I did pick up quite a few things that I know I'm going to need, instead of just getting things on trial. Lots of veggies, lots of things like boxed soups. We do eat a certain amount of convenience foods, and boxed soups with some yummy bread seem to go over really well at lunch time. Hopefully I'll have time in the future to make some soups and freeze them, but for now the boxes are a good alternative.
Okay, I'm going to try to choke down some actual food now. At least I won't ever be curious again about what happens when you mix carrots, radish, umeboshi plums and soy sauce. wow. I'm still gagging a little.
Breakfast: oatmeal
lunch: hummus sandwich with lots of veggies
dinner: creole tempe over brown rice (from The Conscious Cook)
I had a crazy transitional vegan dream last night: sweets was going to get Wendy's meals for everyone (I should note here that we never get fast food. As a rule. Unless we are on a road trip and we need to play in a eat play place.). Anyway, sweets was taking orders and I asked him to get me a bacon double cheeseburger. (something I haven't eaten since I was ten years old.) Then I realized I couldn't eat any of it and was really disappointed. It was one of those oh? Oh. Moments. A crazy dream, to be sure.
I lost track of the days, which is probably a good sign... But I'm back home.
When I got home last night I threw open the fridge. I couldn't wait to eat real food again. Travel food is always a gross approximation of food anyway, but travel vegan food is an absolute joke. An unfunny joke. I threw together a leftovers dinner of spanish rice, beans, and sauteed peppers, onions, and mushrooms. The whole time I was eating I kept saying, "Its' so good to be home." I'm sure my family thought I was talking about them, but really I was talking to the spanish rice. Oh, sweet beans and rice, how I missed thee.
I just finished my lunch- I had boxed carrot cashew ginger soup and bread with my favorite butter analog. It was SO GOOD. And then for dessert I had a few strawberries that sweets so kindly cut up for me. I feel so good, so satisfied, so nourished.
Now that I've been able to eat food by my selection, the fiber-full/protein-hungry feeling has abated. I really wonder if that's really why I felt that way- too much salad not enough protein. It will be interesting to see.
I'm starting to really like this diet. For all my grousing, I actually gained weight while on my trip. That was probably because I was trying to fill myself with food that wouldn't do the trick. I hate to think how much I would have gained if I hadn't been trying for the vegan prize- there was constant food and snacks and treats floating around, waiting to be eaten. I'm a total muncher, I could have finished that popcorntrailmixcupcake buffet myself, if it weren't for this.
Today I'm most surprised that I don't miss the chocolate. I thought I would be desperate for some chocolate, but once I took it off the menu (except for when I can find the rare vegan chocolate), I just stopped missing it. I do have to catch myself and not accidentally pop a hershey's kiss in my mouth like I used to, but part of the pleasure of this is have the awareness of what I'm eating. I really like the awareness.
I had some trouble while away because there were times when I wasn't sure if something was vegan or not. I found a great iPhone app, for anyone who's curious: VeganXpress. It has lists of restaurants with vegan options, a fairly comprehensive list of vegan packaged foods (Annies chocolate bunny grahams! who knew?), and for those who are particularly sensitive to vegan rules, there are lists of vegan beers and wines. Very pleased to see New Belgium beers on the list. Anyway, it's really useful for travel because many airport dining chains are listed.
dinner: I think we're ordering takeout. I think I'm going to order the vegan chile at this restaurant a food-limited friend recommends.
January 14, 2010
I've been noticing I'm super hungry lately. Hungry for salty greasy fatty things- like french fries. Which is why I totally binged last night with a friend. SuperK came to visit and we ran on the treadmills for awhile, then sat in a notveryhot tub until we couldn't bear it any longer. When we were back in the hotel room and had finally warmed up enough, I was hungry. I'd been hungry all day. It had been a day of salads and sub-par veggie sandwich, and I just needed something to get me through the night without feeling like my stomach was eating itself in desperation. So we ordered room service, with an extra serving of french fries. Oh, those fries went down well. Oh, yes they did. The "lentil burger" was quickly dubbed vomit, as in "you have some vomit in your teeth" and "Oh, I dropped some of my vomit on the floor and now I can't find it!" It really had no flavor, but it looked like a vomit patty. But we still ate it, go figure. Is this was vegan does to me? Anyway, now it's 10 hours later and I just feel stuffy. Like I ate a gigantic salad. I hate that feeling.
Today is my last day in Denver, then I get to go home. Thank goodness! I'm tired of this travel food stuff. Yesterday was definitely a low- I don't mind oatmeal, but I do know that oatmeal doesn't really keep me full like other breakfasts do. When I eat oatmeal I'm hungry in an hour or two, but that's all I've had as a breakfast option here. There's been a lot of fruit, but that isn't really going to hold me for all that long either. I forgot the nuts yesterday, which was a huge mistake. I had a salad for lunch, actually, I had two salads for lunch yesterday, but that didn't really cut it. Dinner was a veggie sandwich from Panera- the ONLY menu option that was vegetarian, let alone vegan. Well, not entirely- I had to ask them to not put the cheese on, and then they forgot and I had to pick out the chunks of feta (not happy about that, but this is a common occurrence). No wonder I was hungry last night. I never realized how much I relied on my midday latte to get me some protein/calories. On travel I don't have a latte resource and have really been missing that soy infusion.
Today is not going to be any easier. I already know I'm having a veggie sandwich for lunch. another dull, flat yay for that one. Then I'll be traveling and airport is about impossible. It'll be a plain bagel for that. Maybe I can steal a bagel from the hotel...
A boring post. I hope this is interesting for someone other than me. All I know is in the past 15 minutes I've gone from feeling full-gross to hungry. Does this get any easier?
I don't know what it is, but I'm starving today. I woke up hungry, I was hungry all through lunch, and after lunch? still hungry. I want something I can really sink my self into. I want comfort food. I haven't been able to eat any sweets since I got here and I really miss that. And I accidentally left my nuts and luna bars at the hotel. big mistake. I don't know if this is all part of the transition to vegan or what. I hope I don't feel this way all month.
I was so nervous about coming to this meeting, but the meeting organizers are being very accommodating. It's funny, though. Yesterday the main organizer came up to me and asked me if I could eat fish. No. Eggs? no. Well then how do you get your protein? Then my new friend said "No eggs, no fish, no cheese!" Thanks, friend. I told the organizer to let me worry about my protein, and she was like, "But I worry about you!" I didn't lecture her on protein levels and how we don't really need as much protein as the FDA likes us to believe but that those numbers are inflated because the agriculture lobby has influence on who tells us what we should eat and in fact the WHO recommends protein numbers that are much lower and there's protein in all sorts of foods and.... I just told her I get enough protein by eating bugs.
But the nice thing is this choice means I'm not wasting my time eating fluffy birthday cakes and extra cookies. I actually feel better about my body, which I haven't felt in many many months. Yesterday I had a noodle dish at a local restaurant, and after I got over mourning over not being able to eat the thai soup I really wanted, it was really, really good. I was stuffed. I haven't felt that kind of stuffed in a long time- sated but not uncomfortable. That was a really good feeling. I'm really happy with the choice to do this, and am really resisting the urge to share the whole process with the world. That's the last thing the world wants, so I just get to share it with my blogosphere. hi, friends! Thanks for taking this ride with me!
Yesterdays' menu:
b: oatmeal with granola sprinkles on top and raisins, and a fresh fruit salad. and a soy latte
I'm finding meal procurement is relatively simple, but dessert is another question. I can see why people lose so much weight when vegan. I can also see why the vegan cookbooks have so much emphasis on crazy desserts.
So all my concerns about food were for naught- I actually had a really successful day, vegan-wise. I had a raging migraine by midday, but worse things have happened. I'm sort of in a pickle- I'd like to get off the migraine-caffeine cycle I'm in, but if I don't have caffeine to treat my migraines, I have to put up with unbelievable pain and nausea for who knows how long until it's all out of my system. It used to be I would get an occasional migraine, have a cup of coffee for treatment, and be fine. But in the past two weeks, I've had daily migraines, which have led me to have coffee, which I think are causing me to have subsequent migraines. Yesterday I tried just taking one excedrin instead of two, and I still had a nasty migraine but it wasn't impossible, and the headache passed during dinner so I could enjoy the rest of the day. I've stopped drinking, which I think is helping, but...
The migraine thing is actually another pattern that developed after the pneumonia. When I was sick and slowly recovering I found I just couldn't drink alcohol at all without getting a migraine. But then the holidays, and spending holidays with the in-laws, meant I was having a daily drink of something. Then I would have a migraine the next day, have coffee, then a drink that night. I brought this on myself, I know. But before I got sick, I could enjoy a beer every once in awhile without consequences. This post-swine flu body really sucks. I guess I need to deal with the caffeine thing the same way I'm approaching everything else- cold turkey, deal with the consequences, and hope it reboots the system eventually. Just not this week, I think.
So back to vegan life. I told the meeting planners that I needed vegan options at meals. They were somewhat flexible, but there was discussion of how it's hard enough to plan meals for 30 people, let alone 30 people with their special dietary demands. I wanted to be flexible, and when I made plans for this trip I wasn't vegan yet. I had originally thought I would wait until after the trip, but there was this need to get started on the 28 day trial as soon as possible. I felt like I couldn't go another day without this resolve, so I started on the 6th. Anyway, the meeting planners have been awesome, and I've been happy and fed since I arrived yesterday. I even gave one of my granola bars away, because the food options were so awesome.
Yesterday's menu:
breakfast: bagel with soy cheese (blech)
lunch: salad with a lovely lime vinagrette, pasta with marinara sauce, grilled veggies
dinner: veggie tacos (this was a little complicated- we were at a restaurant with a fixed menu and I had to have them make me the chicken tacos with variation. Some of my cohort teased me that I should have just gotten the chile rellenos, but then I had to go into the whole vegan thing and then they called me Meg Ryan- referencing her picky eating in When Harry Met Sally. The worst part was at dessert when they brought a fruit salad and I had to make another scene to find out if they had put mango in the salad because mango and canteloup look really similar and I'm allergic to mango... anyway, my reputation as an impossible diner has been established. whatever.) (this is where I roll my eyes, then notice with surprise that I'm actually surprised that I don't care more about what people think of me. wow?)
Okay, time to shower and go to day two of the meetings. I'm going to front-load the caffeine today and see if that helps... or maybe I won't and I'll just take excedrin. the problem is that excedrin has waaay too much caffeine and makes me logy. oh, balance, where art thee?
