eI am so cranky. Cranky enough to want to sprinkle my blog with things like OMG! and ROTFLOL! Or whatever that one is. And use smilies. That's just how cranky I am. And if you knew me in real life, you'd know that there is not a measure for that kind of cranky. It would register on the cranky clock as a mis-read. The machine would blame itself for reading errors and try to get you to measure again. It's like when you weigh 301 pounds and step on a scale that can only measure to 300. All sorts of strangeness ensues.
Why am I cranky? Because there is so much going on in my life and I have no control whatsoever. Because my DH is being a total PITA and I'm just about to KHOTD. (Kick him out the door). But then I'm reminded that he is free babysitting, and I let him stay. Even though he is crankier than I.
Last night I went to a baby shower for another cranky woman. But she has every good reason to be cranky- she's 8.5 months pregnant. Which, in pregnancy math, is so dangerously close to the 40 month mark that it feels like 70 months. (Imagine how cranky elephants get! They're like- DAMN! this damn baby elephant is hanging SO DAMN LOW I can barely dip my trunk into the pond to get a little shower. Just get out, you baby elephant! And then their little baby elephant gestation trackers on their elephant weblogs are so long that by the time you get to 22 months the computer screen requires you to scroll across just to see where you are.) Anyway, I'm cranky and my only excuse is that I had a baby two years ago. Which isn't really an excuse.
Anyway, last night I was the driver for the baby shower, which meant I couldn't even drink my sorrows away. On the way to pick up the guest of honor, I found a cd that hadn't been destroyed in the aftermath of lentil's arrival, and I threw it in. It was a mix cd that sweets made for me in the last weeks of pregnancy when I was so bitter and impatient that I couldn't think to do anything but complain about it. It was pretty. Sweets had gone to great lengths to download all sorts of songs that I have loved through the days. It was a perfect mix of sweet songs and rowdy songs and just general feel-good songs. And I thought about how lately it feels like sweets couldn't be bothered to even smile at me, let alone download all my lifetime favorite songs and put them on a disc with special art on the cover. It's almost too depressing to even write about.
So, yeah. Depressed a little. And cranky. And mad because my husband is being a prick. And sometimes, just a little, wondering if I'm at the edge of a terrible downward spiral and wondering if I have enough energy to do anything about it. I'm sure we'll get through it, after all his birthday is next week and he HAS to perk up a little for that, right? Who doesn't perk up for their birthday?
But so many things are bugging me right now, I don't know where to start with the remedies.
At least I'm not a pregnant elephant at term and unable to get water from the watering hole because the little baby elephant is pressing too hard on my bladder and just looking at the water makes me want to pee. At least I have that. :) :) :) ;) LOL!